Dear Tom Ricketts,
I don’t like you. I want you to know that. No fluff, or qualifiers, I just want you to know that I, Jimmy Pomerantz, a lifelong Cubs fan, do not like you. (Is this because the Cubs didn’t hire you for that job application you put zero effort into?)
Now, being the big, important, side-parted adult that you are, I’m sure you’ve become a pro at pressing your lips together and feigning a look of concern when fans tell you this. “Hey, I walk up and down the rows of Wrigley because I actually care what the fans think!” What a crock of shit. When did owners decide that all fans are knuckle-dragging morons who will empty their thin wallets no matter how upper management treats them? (Probably in year 53 of the Cubs sucking, yet still selling out basically every game…FAIR POINT! MOVING ON!) This whole “I walk amongst the fans”-line is so condescending, it makes me want to eat expired food just so I can throw it up for effect. How is that a favor? A king coming down from his throne to walk amongst the peasants and then asking the peasants for gratitude just for doing that. “Please applaud me for putting myself in the same physical vicinity as you poor losers,” is another way of describing “walking amongst the fans.” It’s the more accurate way of describing your interactions with the people whose wallets you own.
Here is what you’ve done to me, as a fan:
You’ve turned Wrigleyville into a giant cash register. When you started with the whole plan to update the area around Wrigley, it was easy to be persuaded that new and updated is always better than old and dirty. There were people on the radio telling me that there was no downside and that all of these updates would lead to higher payroll and greater player satisfaction. “New locker rooms!” “Big screens!” “New restaurants!” Who argues against big screens, better teams and tastier treats?!?!
For those like me, tell me what’s better about Wrigleyville now than 10 years ago? The taco place? Okay, but who’s ripping margs right before heading into Wrigley? Sorry, but beer and hot dogs are all that are meant for baseball. The rest is just sparkly bullshit that no actual fan is really into eating on gameday. Oh, how about the big new bars in the hotels that have zero character, charge through the nose for EVERYTHING, and give everyone who works there a walkie talkie? Can I not have a server who looks like an air traffic controller? I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but being served by people who look like they belong on a runway isn’t exactly the most welcoming atmosphere.
Oh, but then there’s Gallagher Way! Or, whatever the grassy area is where I think you need a ticket to get in, but maybe sometimes not? I don’t know and I’ll never know. Either way, it’s just an extension of the astronomical prices you see INSIDE the ballpark. What’s special about that area? Grass? Are we really that excited to stand on BLADES OF GRASS that we’re willing to pay the same we would for a beer inside the stadium? What am I missing? The appeal of Gallagher Way is….what? And who the fuck is Gallagher anyway? At least try to trick me into some feelings of nostalgia by calling it “Ernie Banks Way” or something a little more identifiable.
Then you created a new network for Cubs games and began hardball negotiating with local cable companies and streaming services to make sure that you were able to upcharge the generations of Cubs fans through their cable bills as well. Because, if you’re not getting money from your fans in every conceivable way, you’re just not a good business, right? Isn’t that the rationale? Okay, so I bit! You were fucking around with Comcast when Marquee started, so you know what I did? I left Comcast and signed up for Hulu Live because Hulu had reached an agreement with Marquee. Sweet! I can watch the Marquee team that hasn’t signed a Marquee position player free agent since Jason “Watch Me Roll Over This” Heyward. THEN! After one year, you guys decide “okay, we’ve got Comcast, now lets fuck with Hulu” so you took Marquee off Hulu until they met your demands…which they still haven’t. So now, I’m supposed to what? Switch back to Comcast? Why, so you can do the same thing again next April? Fuck you dude.
And spare me the “growing pains” excuse of a new network and blah blah blah. The reason you’re able to negotiate these insane rights deals with your own network is because of the centuries worth of Cubs fans who have created this demand. Instead of looking to SOLELY capitalize on that goodwill, maybe…I don’t know, ease into it? You’re new here, pal. Oh, but the World Series Jimmy! Remember the World Series?!?! Yeah, we won a World Series in 2016, but that was because of Theo and the players. What did you do? Hire Theo? Big whoop! “Hey, the best GM in the game is upset in Boston, should we try to get him?” WHAT A VISIONARY! And since that move, what have you done to make the typical Cubs fans life more enjoyable? More bathrooms at Wrigley? Okay. Cool. Thanks for the urinals.
Where are the extensions for our best players? You really telling me that mid-to-late 20s Kris Bryant, Wilson Contreras, and Javy Baez are too old to build another contender around them? We JUST went through a rebuild in 2014, now we’re doing that again? So what, every decade, we get a few good years before some absolutely brutal, unwatchable ones? Where’s that consistency you talked about when you came on? That go out the door when you and your family pissed Theo off by making mega donations to that orange megalomaniac?
What you’re doing is putting on a costume out in public, while assuring the people that work for you that us fans aren’t going anywhere, so it’s okay to treat our wallets like their own personal debit card. Remember, in 2015 when you people would ask, “What would you give up for a Cubs World Series?” Clearly, behind the thick wood doors with big locks atop the Cubs offices, Tom Ricketts was asking that same question.
Tom, keep daring me to care less about your team.
Yours truly,
JimmysChair
Jimmy's Chair 